So, I know that when you’re looking for a coach, it isn’t all about the technical aspect of the program or the logistics. You also want to know if this is a person you’re going to click with and feel safe with.
So, here’s what matters to me. If these connect with you, we’ll likely be a good fit. If these seem terrible, we totally won’t be a good fit LOL
My values as a coach:
- Autonomy
- Excellence
- Compassion
Autonomy
The highest value for me as a coach is to respect your autonomy. I’m an expert in eating skills, but you’re the expert in your life.
You get to say
I developed a system that’s flexible and modular, because I know you might have different needs than someone else. I can help you sort out which parts of the system are best for you, but I’ll never know your life as well as you do. I’m well aware that your experience in your own life is the most important part of this decision making process.
No rules
There’s nothing in any of my programs that’s compulsory. I have a lot of frameworks and skills that are effective for many people, but none of them are effective for everyone. We’ll sort out which ones are and aren’t for you together. You always get the final say.
What matters to you
Your personal values, what matters to you. You choose your own goals. I’ll facilitate you exploring your own values and what matters to you. It’s a tricky tight-rope to walk, in a world that’s constantly telling you that your physical appearance is the most important thing about you.
I want to create a situation where you can explore what matters to you freely — I don’t have an agenda. I’m not going to put my thumb on the scale. You get to explore what matters to you, and I’ll help you get that.
Excellence
Excellence and You
A skill based approach is central to our process together.
Developing skills is a cycle of practicing, making mistakes, reflecting and getting coaching, and practicing again. You’re going to have the opportunity to explore, to try new things, to make mistakes, and to get better.
The freedom to make mistakes, ironically, is what makes excellence possible. I want you to feel comfortable knowing that you don’t have to “do eating skills perfectly” when working with me. I’m not going to judge you, I’m not expecting you to be amazing at everything right out of the gate. We can experiment together and figure out what works for you, in your actual life.
At the same time, I’m going to hold you to your practice goals. You are going to practice. You’re going to practice enough and make enough mistakes that you actually get better.
If you do 1 on 1 coaching with me, we’ll even practice some of the skills together in real time.
Excellence and Me
My commitment is to give you the absolute best.
I bring you tools that are evidence based and have been tested with hundreds of clients. If ever you want to know where something comes from, I can provide you with the studies. If you want to hear about how a certain skill or strategy worked for other clients, we can talk about that as well.
I’m a better coach than I was last year, and last year I was a better coach than the year before that.
I’m attending Metropolitan State University of Denver, studying Psychology. I’m slowly crawling my way through that, part time, while I run Eating Skills, coach clients, and write books. It’s slow, but it matters for me to have that background to bring you evidence based tools.
I’m part of an intense coaching practice group, where we practice coaching each other, then do in-depth critiques of each other’s processes. I also attend trainings that have experiential practice, where I can practice and get feedback from my mentors.
With my professors, mentors, and peers, I’m in the same process with psychology education and with coaching skills that you are with eating skills.
Compassion
The most important thing is that you’re safe to explore, practice, and make mistakes. That takes having a coach who gives you space to be you, exactly where you are at right now. If I can meet you where you’re at, then we can move forward togther.
Look, the nutrition and diet industry has a problem with judgment. It’s judgy, it’s self-righteous, it gatekeeps. The whole industry is based around trying to make you feel worse about yourself. Basically, it sucks. We have to do better than that. I want to do better than that, I want all coaches to do better than that.
Again, if your coach judges you or makes you feel worse, most people will do less practice or worse practice. Sure, there’s a small minority of people who respond to militant coaching that talks down to you and makes you feel bad, but that’s not most people. Even if it worked, I don’t think I could do that. I’m just not wired that way.
My ability to listen to you, to understand you, and get where you’re coming from is everything.
There are two kinds of compassion: Nurturing compassion and fierce compassion
Nurturing compassion
Nurturing compassion is where I’m cool to you. I treat you like someone who’s smart and capable, but has been struggling with something very, very hard. I get that eating and body image stuff is deeply emotional and can often be painful. For some of my clients, it’s the big thing that isn’t working for them in a life that’s otherwise pretty great. I strive to be kind and mindful of how hard this is.
Coaching will be kind and mindful.
Fierce compassion
Fierce compassion is where I coach you for performance. Where I do hold you to the practice goals that you set. Where, if there are hard things that will be good for you and fit what matters to you, we do those things. We do those things even when it’s hard. I’m going to be kind and I’m also going to be honest. I’ll let you know what I see that will make a difference.
Coaching will be about getting into new action, getting better at action, maintaining those new actions.
Are We a Good Fit?
So, that’s what I’m about. That’s how I show up for you as a coach, that’s what you can expect.
If you found my values wildly off-putting, we aren’t a match! That’s ok, there are tons of coaches with completely different values, and I’m sure you can find someone who’s a good fit for you.
On the other hand, if that all sounds cool, it probably makes sense for us to work together!
I’m hoping that this page can give you a little bit better of a window into me, besides just the content and information I’ve put out there. Us working together isn’t just about the tools, it really does make a difference for us to be on the same page about what we’re doing and why.
— Josh Hillis
https://www.eatingskills.com/
